Realism in Children's Books

I have been thinking a lot about children's stories.... what do they teach our children? 

First there is Rapunzel, a long, blonde-haired girl in a tower who waited for YEARS for some dude to find her because he heard her singing. How simple, right? First of all, if any girl had hair THAT long the dude would be grossed out. Plus, she would probably be socially awkward; hello! No human contact for years?! 

Then there was The Frog Prince, the one about the girl that had to kiss a bunch of frogs in order to find her prince. That sounds like the teachings of being a slut to me! Just sayin'! Plus! Why is there no chance of the frog NOT being interested in her? What if the frog was like.... ummm.... "ribbit, I'm just not into blondes" or "It's not you, it's me." That is an actual problem in REAL life, ya know! He's a freaking frog! Of course he is going to be interested in her! Frog goggles!

So Snow White is this girl who is shunned and has to go live with midgets. Normal, right? Well she, of course, meets this prince who falls in love with her. She is poisoned, falls asleep and then is awoken with a kiss. Ummm... first of all.... where is this poison apple? Can I have a bite and be woken up by a hot guy? Please? Sure, I'll work with midgets for a while in the forest. Sounds like fun!

All of these stories show that a man will instantly fall in love with a girl. Just once would I like a realistic children's story... in fact... Here is comes....

Once upon a time there was an average looking young girl who worked at a "Hot Dog-on-a-Stick" stand (you know the hot dog place). She had sandy blonde hair pulled up in an ugly red and yellow thimble looking hat. She wasn't a fair maiden and tall and thin. She was slightly plump with constant grease stains on her multi-colored stiff work shirt.

One day, an average looking guy, Sam, walked up and was like "Hey, can I have a hot dog?"

Oh yah, and the girls name is Kari. So Kari was a little nervous so she said "Ummm....uhhh.... ya."

No instant connections. No singing. No midgets. No transformations of animals to humans. And she didn't see him again for 3 months.

Three months later she ran into him at a baseball game and she awkwardly said "Hey, you like hot dogs!" and he didn't recognize her and was like "Umm... nah. I'm not gay" And Kari said "No, I mean you came to the Hot Dog-on-a-Stick stand like 3 months ago" and Sam thought she was totally creepy cause she remembered that but he entertained the conversation to be nice "Oh.. yah, yah I did" 

Basically, Kari got his number, they went out on a date. And he never called again even though Kari waited by her phone eating Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey" every night while watching "Twilight".

I would love for a child to read this book and be like WTF? Where are the rainbows, fairies, balloon animals and candy?

Sorry kid, this is real life. Deal.

And she lived unhappily ever after because lots of girls dwell too much upon what men think of them which makes them entirely pathetic and crazy.
The End.